Because
of Cats
Lisa Gurian
If I did not have cats
I could have found a nice country rental long long ago
Instead of staying in a teeny studio in town for 8 years
only because pets were allowed
Paying high rent
And worrying about the awful neighbors
hoping fervently not one more was killed by a car
Or poisoned
Until I could buy my own place.
If I did not have cats
I would not have broken pottery
Coffee spills on the rug
Statues without feet
Funny stains in the corners
If I didn't have cats
I would not trip on balls, yarn, half eaten rodents
Squish under bare toes on a 2 AM journey to the bathroom.
If I didn't have cats
I would not have hair everywhere — including my good clothes
Endless vacuuming and sweeping
4 cat boxes to clean
The dogs would get more attention
More room on the bed.
If I did not have cats
I would have more house plants, and vases
Books would stay on shelves
I would have more money
Thousands less to Western Farm and Friendly Feed
Save hundreds on toilet paper
Stay out overnight
Not pay the pet sitter
I would not be panicked
Trying to account for everyone in time to leave for work or
school
Less midnights with a flashlight
Sneaking through yards calling softly, frantically
"Where are you?"
I could read a whole newspaper
Have a bird feeder
I would not have such horror and pain
Of deaths, brutal or silent
Sudden or lingering
Furry people I miss every every day
With aching heart break
If I did not have cats
I would still spill my coffee
Break vases myself
Not put things away
I still would have gotten rid of the rug
Installed a bidet
If I didn't have cats
The neighbors would be just as awful
I would be just as bad at cleaning house
If I didn't have cats
I would be cold at night
And lonely
I would still grieve for every lost and murdered one
If I did not have cats, I'd have something else.
But because of cats
I know wonder, and joy
And sacred blessed beings
Tender kisses-from me to them, and they cat version: rough tiny
tongue, nudging damp noses,
tickly whiskers, nibbles
Loving eyes
Hugs with velvety paws, kneadling, sweet delicate with claws
carefully concealed
Smiles — Oh have you seen how cats smile?
Mischievous, slepy, bemused smirks, glowers
Feline yoga
Teeth on bare wet skin after a shower
Making me laugh hysterically while saying "ouch"!
Playful, frolicking balls of fur
A ballet of splendid leaps
Harmonious purring
A chorus of voices at meal time: Me ow, Chi Rip, Prout, Mi rht
Precious soft bundles to bring comfort and stroke in the night
As they lay
Beside, on top, around me: In the cold winter a blanket of warm
content bodies against every curve
"It was an eight cat night last December."
I mediate on cats sleeping softly after a stressful day
Feel my pulse slow, forget the outside world, while watching
cats dream
Chores outside, 16 eyes, or more, watching — seemingly
laughing —
Silly human, why are you bothering with that?"
Pushing against my legs, swatting the broom, lying under the
wheel barrow, galloping across the field.
The miracle of a tiny new life saved in the nick of time
That would be dead without me
Because of cats I know a feeling with no words:
When some shy frightened one comes to be petted
For the first time
And feels finally safe enough to play
Heals old wounds, jumps on my lap
Because of cats I know the honor and privilege of sharing my
heart and hearth;
Their magic and sacred spirit.
Because of cats I know intimately more
and the world is better.
If I did not have cats
My life would be easier
But it would be lesser
And unfulfilled.
(In loving memory of my dear fur family, I name you in my heart
and remember you always)
|
Spring
'07